Your Reptile and Amphibian Resource and Information Site

Back to *General Misc Forum   Forums   Home   Members Area  

*General Misc Forum

Snuggemz00667   Anouk   Clawedfrogsrule   Clawedfrogsrule   Anouk  
 Member  Message

 #2038472


Snuggemz00667
View Profile





 Need relationship help =(

my girlfreind went to visit family up north and she left me because she has trust issues and was afraid that i might cheat on her. i just found this out and ive said a lot of stupid insensitive stuff to her and now im just in shock because now i know what happened. i need to fix this because when she and i met i was at the verge of suicide because things werent going good and she gave me a reason and because of that i fell in love deeper than usual. and its not just something i can walk away from because she means so much to me. She hates me right now because ive been unpleasant. I need to know what to do because im lost. my sister has given up because she says im prolonging my time shut up in my room and i come out everytime with tear lines on my face. shes afraid that next im gonna start drinking and using razors and shes right because ive thought about it. but i promised my love i’d never do that stuff. what am i to do? what do i say? what do i do? i need to know and my thoughts are clouded with to many emotions to think straight.



07/13/09  10:40am

 #2038787


Anouk
View Profile



  Message To: Snuggemz00667   In reference to Message Id: 2038472


 Need relationship help =(

See my post on the ball python forum.



07/13/09  07:03pm

 #2038790


Clawedfrogsrule
View Profile



  Message To: Snuggemz00667   In reference to Message Id: 2038472


 Need relationship help =(

Please please please please please don’t start drinking or cutting or any other self-destructive behavior. That won’t help the situation, and you know that.

Now first of all, the fact that she pulled you out of depression/possible suicide is really beautiful...however becoming dependant on that person is not ideal, and I think that’s really the deeper issue here. I believe that you love her, but you are also dependant on her, and that’s not what’s best for you. I think you should take this time off to find other outlets for yourself that will give your life "reason" (I put it in quotes because no other person can do that, only you can).

Also, she doesn’t hate you, and it’s NOT your fault that she broke up with you, it was because of her own insecurities. She’s the one that left to visit family, if you were going to cheat, it would have been the other way around.

After some time, she may come to her senses and realize the mistake she made, but for now I think you should just give her space. Allow her some time to think (and to miss you), and then when you’re feeling better about yourself, you can approach her calmly if you still want to. You can try a heartfelt letter or phone call(way more personal than a text, and shows that you took the time to think it out), but don’t beg or try to make her feel guilty. Just explain your perspective, apologize for whatever you might have said, and try to focus on the positives of the relationship - what exactly do you love about her? Why do you two click?

Good luck, hopefully everything will work out for you (and not just in terms of the relationship).



07/13/09  07:06pm

 #2038795


Clawedfrogsrule
View Profile



  Message To: Clawedfrogsrule   In reference to Message Id: 2038790


 Need relationship help =(

Also, remember that you are loved. I know that sounds corny, but I promise it’s true. Just reading about your sister’s response to this shows that she cares about you and doesn’t want you to be hurting right now, and I know she’s not the only one that feels that way.



07/13/09  07:08pm

 #2038822


Anouk
View Profile



  Message To: Clawedfrogsrule   In reference to Message Id: 2038795


 Need relationship help =(

Figured out how to copy/paste my post ;)

There is a national hot-line that has people for you to talk to 24/7.

1-800-273-TALK (8255)

You sound like you are in crisis and I am worried about you. Numbing yourself with alcohol and cutting or killing yourself won’t fix your problems. Getting your girlfriend back will not be the magic wand that fixes your problems. It really sucks, but your happiness and satisfaction in life have to come from within you. Since you said you were on the verge of suicide before you met her, it sounds like there were many problems going on for quite some time.

Please call the number above. They can help guide you through this and, if you want, they can help get you set up to talk with someone in your local area face-to-face.

Nichole



07/13/09 06:54pm



07/13/09  07:43pm


Back to *General Misc Forum   Forums   Home   Members Area